I love maps but hate to travel. I love gadgets but can’t have them all. I only buy another gadget when I can justify its economic practicality. So for years held off buying a global positioning system (GPS)…until last week when I read that DeLorme released its newest GPS for laptop computers. Price: $100. I was at that moment planning a car trip to Ft. Lauderdale. So, my gadget-purchase-stars aligned once again, I ordered online from Amazon.com, and two days later I had the Earthmate GPS complete with Street Atlas USA 2003.

I promptly opened the box to find a handsome Scuba-yellow cube about 2” square that weighed about what I remember my Dad’s full pack of Camels weighed in the 50’s—not much. I attached its six foot umbilical cord to my laptop’s USB port, stretched it over to the window of my seventh floor office and affixed it securely with the suction cup. I then installed the Street Atlas USA software from its CD and updated the software online. Now my computer had not only all streets in America that existed when the software was shipped but also every new street built in America since then. I excitedly fired up the software and watched as a detailed street map of Washington, D.C., appeared on my screen.

At first I was disappointed that my city did not appear onscreen first…that it did not read the Scuba cube’s location as being on the 7th floor of my office building in downtown St. Petersburg. Then I realized that I must not have positioned it right to see a satellite. I also realized that showing D.C. was a very proper opening screen since it was the only city in America with no preferential state, so the programmers were showing deference to the user rather than having their own city (San Jose, Singapore, etc.) appear as the default screen.

I moved the cube all around my office windows and no matter how hard I tried I could not get it to see a satellite. The directions said it needs to see three of them. And then I figured it out. The satellites were above the roof of my building, not in front of it, so there was no way this would work in my office since there is no dashboard or sun roof. I sulkily put the gadget back in its box and waited until I got home and could try it in my car. But I learned GPS Lesson Number One: Scuba cube needs to see up, not out.

When I got home, I put the laptop in the front seat, plugged in the Scuba cube, placed it on the dashboard, fired up the Street Atlas USA software and applauded when a few seconds later a detailed street map of my city, my street and my corner appeared on my laptop screen. Just like it was supposed to do. Technology rules. I sat there in amazement, thinking about the three satellites out in space orbiting around and telling my computer through the Scuba cube where we were. And as I watched I saw the little green spot that marked our location move a little here and a little there ever so much every few minutes. The computer screen even gave a little readout of our speed and direction. After about ten minutes we had traveled some distance but not too far, according to the computer. Nevertheless, I was a bit dizzy since the car was not running and we were still in the driveway and I was over in the passenger seat. It was kind of like watching an Imax movie: it was moving, not me, but it still made me dizzy. And I learned GPS Lesson Number Two: GPS is very close, but not exact.

Next, I used Street Atlas USA to plot our route to Ft. Lauderdale. I had never driven to South Florida, despite living in Florida for 37 years. Only the presence of our first grandchild in that city justified sacrificing my claim to be the only Floridian my age never to have driven on Alligator Alley. I watched as Street Atlas plotted out the route down I-275, to I-75, across Alligator Alley, to I-595, to Ft. Lauderdale and to the very street and corner of our hotel. I put Scuba cube back in its box, packed up my laptop, brought them into the house and told my wife proudly about this economically practical invention I had so wisely acquired for use on our trip. She only rolled her eyes. Again. And said something about I was welcome to bring it along but don’t expect her to be running the darn thing. Hmmm. I was the driver. How could I drive and punch computer buttons and watch the computer screen at the same time. I learned GPS Lesson Number Three: the driver needs a navigator to operate GPS even more than the driver needs a navigator to read a map.

The next morning I got up early, packed the car, put the laptop in the backseat, and put Scuba cube on the dashboard. I turned on the car and the computer, verified by GPS that we were in our driveway, backed up and began to drive. Then I remembered something that was very important and that would lead to another lesson. Street Atlas said the route would take about 4 hours. My laptop computer battery would go about 2 hours. If I left the computer on now it would run out of power at the beginning of Alligator Alley. That disturbing thought prompted others, such as what good is GPS on Alligator Alley? If we were to get a flat tire or have an accident could we use it to call for help and tell the authorities our exact position? Would our cell phones work in the middle of the Everglades? I checked Verizon online (my laptop has cellular Internet access) and found its Express Network runs all the way down I-75 including Alligator Alley. So I decided that safety called for me to power down the laptop and conserve its power in case we needed to know our position later. GPS Lesson Number Four: bring extra laptop batteries.

The trip was long but flawless and we soon arrived in Ft. Lauderdale, played with children and grandchild, talked, and had fun. All without GPS, just like in the old days. When everyone went to bed, I powered up the laptop and plotted the route on Street Atlas that would take us on a tour of Miami and Coral Gables the next day. It worked great. I could add destinations like the Coral Gables Biltmore, and it would stake it out and plot the route for me. I read the instructions a little bit, but did not have enough time to really study and understand them since it was already so late. The next day I learned GPS Lesson Number Five: take the time to read the instructions.

The next morning we packed the kids and grandchild into the car, handed the computer to the involuntarily-conscripted navigator in the back seat, stuck the Scuba cube in the dashboard, verified by GPS that we were still in the parking lot, then headed down the street toward I-595. As we passed each block I had the navigator in the back seat confirm that the little green spot denoting our GPS-determined position was moving along the chosen route highlighted on the computer screen. The navigator, to whom I had forgotten to pass on what few instructions I had gleaned the night before, did his best to read the hieroglyphics on the screen. As we approached the Interstate access ramp I asked if the computer was telling us to turn right onto the ramp, and navigator responded that it was not. At first, this puzzled me since the route the night before had shown that taking the Interstate to Coral Gables was faster than taking Highway 1, which is what we were on. Then I remembered that I had added Vizcaya to the route that morning and had not checked to see what route it chose. Perhaps it thought Highway 1 was faster for this new destination. So we passed the Interstate onramp. The computer then told us that we should have turned right onto the Interstate. I said not to worry, that it was programmed to put us back on route, just wait and see what it shows as we move along Highway 1. But what it showed as we drove was that we should have turned back at the first onramp. As we came up to each additional Interstate sign, I expected the computer to tell us to turn right to connect to the Interstate and get back on route, but it never did. It kept telling us to go back to the first onramp, which was now many miles away. Frustrated, I followed the next sign to the Interstate and headed to Miami and watched the computer for the next thirty minutes tell us that we were getting farther and farther away from that Interstate onramp that it told us to get on way back in Ft. Lauderdale. I asked navigator to close the computer lid and let it go to sleep, which it promptly did. GPS Lesson Number Six: it’s not smarter than you.

For the next few hours we used Interstate road signs, my memory of the computer-mapped route I had seen the night before, and pure human GPS to make our way through Miami to Coconut Grove. We then drove in circles looking for Coral Gables, but finally stopped the car, fired up the laptop, put Scuba cube on the dashboard, and found that our little green spot on the map was only about 8 blocks away from the Coral Gables Biltmore. We (I?) kept the computer on and watched gleefully as the little green spot followed along the map as we drove up to the front door of the majestic hotel. Deciding that was as good as it gets, I powered down the laptop and packed Scuba cube away for the day as we toured Coral Gables, the Biltmore, the Venetian Pool, Vizcaya, and other sites. We found our way back to Ft. Lauderdale without too much trouble, but learned GPS Lesson Number Seven: always take a paper backup map.

Technology is amazing. But it’s not always better than the real thing. Today a friend told me about a funny little piece he had seen: Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address performed as a PowerPoint presentation (“Hello, I’m glad you asked me to be here today…let me see if I can find the right switch to turn this thing on here…there it is...Ahem…Four-score and seven years ago… as my first slide shows, a score is twenty years, and four times twenty is eight, and you add the seven, so that’s eighty-seven years ago…”). Sometimes I like technology; sometimes I like the real thing.